You Can’t Make This $#*& Up!

Image  For a period of time in my life, I used this phrase multiple times a day.  Oh, don’t worry, I still do but on a much less frequent basis.  It felt like any weird, strange or unusual phenomena would only happen to me.  I felt very special(?).

My cousin, who is most like a brother, was going through a divorce and my mom had just passed away so almost every day, we would talk about all the weird “stuff” that was happening or had happened in our lives.  We talked about keeping a journal and eventually writing a book or, yes, ha ha, a blog.  We kept saying that people must think we make this stuff up.  I know I have a pretty wild imagination but I’m not quite sure I’m that talented a storyteller.

I realized last night that we never fulfilled that dream.  Every once in a while, I’d like to share with you one of the mine, ours, or random “you can’t make this $#*& up” stories that have changed my life.  These divine “phenomena” have made me stronger on the path of my life’s journey.

Here goes:

It was Summer of 2008 and I was planning a trip to NJ to help my Dad take care of my Mom.

A few days before we left, I received a certified letter from the mayor.

It wasn’t a random letter.  

Someone had sent him an anonymous letter about my baby pool – a copy was enclosed.

A certified letter from the MAYOR about my BABY POOL!!!!!!

Yes, you read that correctly.  BABY POOL.  You know – you pump the rim with air,  fill it with water, and the sides rise up.  Yeppers!  

Why didn’t the idiot (yes, I know, not very Christian-like) that had a problem with my BABY POOL knock on my door?  When you owned a home, weren’t you a grown-up?   Not in this case, obviously.

So, I called the city and was told that an inspector had to come to my home ASAP.  He agreed to come the next day.

I could hardly speak to the inspector.

Poor guy.  He didn’t know what to do.  He couldn’t say the letter was ridiculous although I believe he thought it.

Even though it was a BABY POOL,  It’s dimensions categorized it as an above-ground pool.

Really?

The inspector felt so bad.  

Every time I tried to talk, I choked up.  

He said he would come back in two weeks so we could discuss options.  

Options – a fence, new electrical panel, variance, permit…….for a BABY POOL!

I know I’m emphasizing BABY POOL a lot.

Can’t help myself.  

I spent the next 10 days caring for my parents.  

I cried all the way home.  I thought I would never see my Mom again.  It was that bad.

Every time the kids asked me a question, I had to swallow the big lump in my throat.  I had to get it together for their sake and…..

I had to take care of my BABY POOL situation.

It was a seven to eight hour car ride from my home to my parents.  

My friend called about five times asking when we’d be home.  By the fourth call, I was ready to lose it.  

The cell phone kept ringing….I kept thinking about my Mom…..and the BABY POOL!  

My emotions were running really, really, high!  

I was losing it!

As I pulled onto my street, I could see caution tape crisscrossing my front door, down my sidewalk, and blocking my driveway.

At first, I thought I was seeing things and then I thought, “OH, NO!  NOW WHAT?”

That’s why she kept calling.  Oh my gosh!  You’ve got to be kidding!?

Did my roof cave in?  That would be the icing on the cake!!!!!”  

Nope.

It was all of my wonderful friends gathered in the driveway bringing some levity and laughter into a ridiculous situation.  

Not only was there caution tape draped all over the front of my house but there were signs staked all over the lawn. CAUTION.  BEWARE OF DOG.  CONSTRUCTION ZONE.  NO SWIMMING!  

Hysterical!!!!!!

I think we spent the next hour and a half laughing and enjoying pizza and beers!  

During one of the darkest times in my life,  my FRIENDS’ LOVE shined the brightest and lightened my heart.  The love I have for them will always shine brightly in my heart!  

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Side note:  The mayor and inspector allowed us to keep the pool until after Labor Day.  Residents in our town were all provided with updated guidelines regarding “above-ground” pools.  I did find out who sent the anonymous letter.  I inadvertently made a fool of him at a neighborhood meeting.  Touche’!

One thought on “You Can’t Make This $#*& Up!

  1. Pingback: You Can’t Make This $#*& Up! | thewoundedheart

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