My Mom was diagnosed with cancer eight years ago. It was also when my relationship with God began to falter. Her devotion to God, Jesus and the Blessed Mother was like no other that I had ever encountered. Up until two months before she passed, she was devoted to praying her rosary, as well as, praying for a countless number of friends, relatives, and strangers each and every morning.
One would think that after experiencing such a devotion to God first hand that I would have been brought closer to Him. That was the furthest from the truth. Upon her death, I knew God was in my heart. He was just being overpowered by the grief and brokenness I felt. The trust and love that I once had for Him was a glimmer of light in the far, far distance.
God slowly, quietly and subtly cultivated new friendships and acquaintances for me that shared the same beliefs that I had once held dear to my heart. They were pivotal in bringing that glimmer of light closer to my heart. I introduced myself to different philosophies, the practice of yoga, completed yoga teacher training and reiki master training. God was trying to make the blind woman before Him see.
It was a winding journey not without many bumps, bruises, or doubt. Like most things in my life, finding God again, had to be on my own terms. I forgot how to make God a priority so He took care of it for me. He knew it was time to remove the subtleties. My Dad passed away two months ago. As I walked into my Dad’s wake, there were beautiful flowers as well as a plaque. A plaque with no subtlety attached – a serious message.
He made my sweet friends His personal messenger. I missed both of my parents. I would kiddingly call myself an orphan. God knew I wasn’t joking. So He needed to send a bigger message. It was and is………
“Behold, I am with you always.”